Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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