He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You took a bar mat shot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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