but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize