that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my phone needs a breathalizer
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize