what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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