I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize