Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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