I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize