when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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