I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
