Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
