Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
