i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
