oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize