Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
