Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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