You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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