do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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