I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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