I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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