I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize