Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize