I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
