Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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