My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
