If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
