Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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