so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize