u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize