I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
