I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
