Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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