you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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