i just google imaged poop.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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