Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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