You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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