remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize