I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
