my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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