I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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