bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize