Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
