Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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