last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Farmville is her only friend.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
