I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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