I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
