I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's official drugs can't kill me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
