i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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