Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize