the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
