By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He passed out mid-signature
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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