He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
