her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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