My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
