My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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