I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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