So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
