3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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