Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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